"Planets on Earth- The Sun" fragmenty książki / excerpts from the book

 

Alisha woke up in the hospital bed. She could not move any part of her body and images kept running through her head- her and Mick laughing in the car, it was raining, the slippery surface of the road, the sun has just set, headlights of other cars passing them by, one car with lights that were too bright…

it was actually heading straight towards them, not just passing by, bang, she lost consciousness, then nothing…. other lights above her but other people around, voices, she’s been brought to the hospital, then nothingness… then someone talking to her about Mick’s death, her mum wearing a black dress, crying, clinging her old palm onto the bed rail and looking away… doctors and nurses smiling to her sadly, trying to hide from her the fact that she has lost her left leg and God knows what else… NOW. She woke up, there was nobody there. Does she want to live? There was only a brief, short moment of hesitation and doubt but it went away instantly: breath, keep breathing, the unexplained inner power told her to keep living. No Mick, no leg, no future together, maybe no future at all. She did not think about it now, she did not want to grasp it all. Now it was only her essence that counted, only her inner self… no matter what, do I want to live? Yes, of course I will live. She could literally hear and feel her inner engine starting… bum bum bum…. Slowly but surely she could hear the blood flowing in her veins… this unexplained mechanism, this mysterious machine starting, moving on, working… the heat filling her body. No matter what. The shock will come later on, the rest she will understand later on, now it’s only time to evoke this inner power, this LIFE within, even if the surface is dead. Her life is dead, her Mick is dead, her leg is dead, her plans are dead. Something inside is still alive and decided she will live. Breath in and out, one pump of blood after another, her heart pumping, disseminating the warmth all over her body… tick tick tick… the engine is ok, she thought…. I keep going, I keep living. No matter what. She felt somehow that her inner drive, the power inside will guide her through the rest of her life. A ridiculous thought crossed her mind: there is a sense in living for me. She fell asleep again.

* * *

Daniel came closer to the window to watch the sunrise. In the dull, winter weather the sun was still rising. He could not believe it… he was left with no money, no legacy, no father, no university placement, no future prospects and no girlfriend… but what he was left with was an old car that no one had driven for over 10 years, a bunch of old fishing clothes, a funeral banquet to attend to this evening and memories. He stared at the rising sun. How extraordinary… the more he stared at it, the more it resembled a huge, hot, fiery summer sun, not January sun at all. He concentrated only on this sun to forget all his misery for a while. Wow, it was amazing. He was feeling the warmth on his skin; he started feeling the warmth inside, in his heart, in his head. His soul started to feel merry, even cheerful…. In his imagination he saw himself getting into the old-timer Mercedes that his late dad has left him in his legacy. He saw himself driving the Merc along the A38, with an open roof, whistling, feeling the wind blowing into his face… wow, he even smiled slightly to himself- maybe his dad knew precisely what he was doing leaving him THE car, nothing else but the car. Daniel thought about his life… he approached 31 this year…. oh God. And he looked at the sun, the beautiful sun that at this specific moment was his central point of attention, his core, his only hope, his starting point… perfectly round, perfectly… warm, like it had a heart inside…. Pounding, with life… And a vision, an idea crossed his mind. It all suddenly made sense.

* * *

How do I feel about my new life? I feel like a phoenix having risen from the ashes. I feel blessed, renewed, resurrected. As if a strong, golden, shining layer of protection is surrounding me, no matter what is trying to suffocate me. 

My new life feels like the golden shield is protecting me from the meanest, most horrible of worlds and people and their negativity. Absolutely nothing can weaken or kill me. I have the power within me. I have risen from the dead - this is how my new life feels. The sun is rising on me, every part of my body, every muscle is awakening to the music of the gods and my face is turning to the sun. I am unstoppable. There is no impossible, there is no impossible… It feels larger than life. I discover a new part of me every second, every day… am I becoming a new person or am I starting to see the unimaginable before reality of mySELF? Am I an elephant? Suddenly, as if from the strike of lightning, I have become perfect, whole, not grandiose, not egoistic, not petty and egocentric but warm, affectionate, merciful, thoughtful, graceful, huge, creative, resourceful, unstoppable, ever-lasting, immortal. There are no limits to my possibilities, to my deeds, to my dreams and visions. I am gemmating, my ideas are endlessly budding… this is how my new life feels. And I will never fully stop in exploring it, I will always be witnessing something new, leading me to another idea, another vision… this journey never stops.

* * *